That allowing things to be as they are has been/is the hardest part of it for me. But things always don’t seem so bad when I do it. The fight against what is, is always what causes the most pain. I wish peace for you too, Mel. It’ll come. Then it’ll go again. Then come, then go… 💙
The line that stayed with me was: “It’s the calm and the gut punch—in the same body on the same day.” That feels closer to real acceptance than any polished idea of peace. Not approval, not surrender—just the difficult act of letting reality be true without abandoning yourself inside it.
Women, especially, have been conditioned to accept and tolerate all kinds of shitty behavior, to keep the peace, to let it go, and have been expected to behave passively for centuries. I love how you are relearning what true acceptance is -- that it doesn't mean bypassing any of the experience. My heart hurts for your heart with whatever the thing is.
Oh, sweetie, I wish we could take a walk together today. I’ll admit that Zoom makes me dissociate too. It is fake real. I’ve found myself talking on the phone for more genuine, animated conversations. Call if you need to call. I’m here. Anyway, this sounds more like a side by side, should to shoulder, outdoors type of conversation. I hope there is someone there who will give that to you. (I’ve got about a dozen saved up for you when we see each other. Ha!) You are so loved, especially by me. 🩷
Lovely story, taking it in the peace with you. The dress rocks, as do you!
That allowing things to be as they are has been/is the hardest part of it for me. But things always don’t seem so bad when I do it. The fight against what is, is always what causes the most pain. I wish peace for you too, Mel. It’ll come. Then it’ll go again. Then come, then go… 💙
Yes, Amanda! It is so true—when I do it, things are not so bad. The fight is the problem. Thanks for naming that.
acceptance is not giving in or giving up. thud. that landed. thank you for sharing your growing pains.
I love you, Carola. I am so grateful for your perspective and your vulnerability. How cool is it that we get to know each other??!!
The line that stayed with me was: “It’s the calm and the gut punch—in the same body on the same day.” That feels closer to real acceptance than any polished idea of peace. Not approval, not surrender—just the difficult act of letting reality be true without abandoning yourself inside it.
Thanks, Antonio! I cried when I wrote that line because it felt so right and hard. Wow. Being human is no joke...
Women, especially, have been conditioned to accept and tolerate all kinds of shitty behavior, to keep the peace, to let it go, and have been expected to behave passively for centuries. I love how you are relearning what true acceptance is -- that it doesn't mean bypassing any of the experience. My heart hurts for your heart with whatever the thing is.
Thanks, Jennifer! I'm really glad I am starting to get to know you. Thanks for being the human you are!
Oh, sweetie, I wish we could take a walk together today. I’ll admit that Zoom makes me dissociate too. It is fake real. I’ve found myself talking on the phone for more genuine, animated conversations. Call if you need to call. I’m here. Anyway, this sounds more like a side by side, should to shoulder, outdoors type of conversation. I hope there is someone there who will give that to you. (I’ve got about a dozen saved up for you when we see each other. Ha!) You are so loved, especially by me. 🩷
Next time I’m in Portland, we are going on that walk together! I miss you! <3
I miss you, too! xoxox