LETTER #17

Stuart Sanks: Educator, LGBTQIA+ Advocate & Drag Queen Extraordinaire!

The first time I met Stuart he was doing his impression of Olympic ice skater Oksana Baiul. He spun around and performed a double axel—no ice or ice sakes needed—and then landed his final pose, arms wide out and a triumphant shake of his beautiful blonde hair. I couldn’t stop laughing and clapping. I had no idea how important this stunning, six-foot-and-change human would become in my life.

In the late-90s and early-2000s we performed together and developed shows for kids K-12 as part of the Kaiser Permanente Educational Theatre Program in Denver, CO. The shows, focusing on heath related issues, included music, giant puppets, audience participation, and storytelling. We’d drive a huge truck with mobile set pieces from school to school; set up and break down from 6am-4pm every day; and enjoy our experience as rock stars at each school. Stuart was always there to connect with the kiddos and hear their stories before and after shows.

Stuart loved a competition—the Olympics, the Oscars, the Emmys, the Grammys. He was there for it every time and throwing a party to boot. He set up a 4-square court in the middle of our rehearsal space at Kaiser and we’d play over lunch and on breaks.

When our Kaiser team won a regional Emmy for a video we performed in about media literacy for middle school students, Stuart rallied us to get dressed to the nines and show up in person to support the producers. We even got a photo with awards!

A former cheerleader and camp counselor, Stuart brought his unique brand of positive energy and community building into everything he did. It was no surprise that he became a 3rd grade teacher and eventually the theatre teacher for a K-5 public school of the arts.

He was featured in a PBS series called I am More Than where he tells his story as an LGBTQIA+ advocate and educator. He shares his journey of coming out, from growing up queer and isolated in Kansas to his now very out and proud life which includes an 18-year marriage to his husband, Jim. His story is inspirational.

Speaking of stories, Stuart's drag persona, Shirley Delta Blow, hosts Drag Decades (a monthly cabaret) and Sunday Bingo Brunch. She also reads to children in libraries all over the Denver area for Drag Queen Story Time. Her tagline "I LOVE that story!" works perfectly for both the story time events and her other performances. She even has t-shirts with the slogan!

One of my strongest memories from COVID was tuning into Shirley’s Zoom link for story time and watching her read books about acceptance and authentic living into the camera. I just sat there and cried watching from my kitchen in Portland, OR while my friend in Denver found new ways to reach kids who desperately needed community and connection.

Stuart is a talented actor and performed lead roles in Promethean theatre, the company my husband Joel and I ran while in Colorado. When Promenthean collaborated with the Bug Theatre to create and produce a performance art/open mic/variety show called Freak Train, Stuart and I put on black body suits and hoods and became a silent act called Stuey and the Bean. I don’t even know how to begin to describe the silliness we created on stage. Suffice it so say that one time we brought a waffle iron on stage and made waffles to music in 5-minutes to give to audience members. For Halloween, we put plastic pumpkins on our heads and gave the audience candy to throw into the holes. We tested the pumpkin hats on baby Ethan and found that they worked, they even made E smile!

There are so many more memories with Stuart. He was the person that called me first on 9/11 waking my pregnant self up and telling me to turn on the TV. We sat there on the phone watching the horror unfold and then went into work and spent the day with the rest of the Kaiser crew trying to parse what was happening. He introduced me to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence when he dated one of the nuns. He came to visit me in Portland and Eugene. When I toured my show Sexology: The Musical! to the Boulder Fringe Festival, we hung out and I got to meet his amazing husband and watch Shirley rock her bad ass self on-stage.

Stuart is an inspiration and a model for living a loving and authentic life. His message and his work brings together community, celebrates diversity, and provides the opportunity for young queer people to know that they are loved and needed and deserve to live their best lives.

He inspires through his unwavering commitment to authenticity, creativity, and community. Whether he's teaching third graders, entertaining audiences as Shirley Delta Blow, or simply being the friend who shows up when it matters most, he embodies the kind of joyful, purposeful living that makes the world a little brighter. His legacy isn't just in the performances or the lessons taught—it's in the countless lives he's touched by showing them that being exactly who you are is not only enough—it’s essential. That’s certainly a good message for me as I continue on my path towards Essential Mel.

And you know what? I LOVE that Story!

This letter is part of a weekly series called Analog Connections. Each week I create and handwrite a letter to someone that is on my mind and post it here. I hope you enjoy getting to know some of the amazing humans in my life!